Did you know that one in every three people live in a blended / step family world-wide? That means 30% of the world’s children are currently growing up in a blended family. It could take several years to form new bonds, so here are some of the basic elements that make a happy blended family.
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Members of successful blended / step families have respectful relationships and are civil toward each other at all times. They don’t ignore, hurt on purpose or withdraw when having difficulties. |
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They are compassionate toward the other family members and display affectionate behaviour. Their various developmental stages and needs are understood and honoured. |
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Members of happily blended families treat each other fairly and favouritism is not tolerated. They are aware of not over-compensating or over-indulging stepchildren or biological children. |
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Spending quality time alone with each family member is vitally important while doing things together as a family is also a priority. Alone time is also regarded a necessity for all members, children and parents included. |
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Open and clear communication is always encouraged in step families that blend successfully. Emotions are not bottled up, but rather encouraged to be voiced and properly heard as well. |
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Clear boundaries are set for every family member and family rules which have been agreed to by everyone, apply. A healthy balance is struck between being a disciplinarian and a supportive stepparent while bonds are formed. |
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All the parents are involved in the children’s lives in happy blended families. A strong co-parenting partnership is established between biological and non-biological parents in support of the children. |
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Conflict among family members is handled effectively and members cultivate a non-judgemental attitude. There are few opportunities for misunderstanding and the level of trust is increased. |
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Family rituals & routines form an integral part of blended family life, providing ample opportunities for bonding interaction. Special occasions are meaningful and unite families. |
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Successful blended families provide a reliable and secure environment, based on a solid marriage between the parents, which is more challenging to nurture than first marriages. |
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Having already experienced the trauma of divorce, members of these blended / step families are loved, valued, appreciated, encouraged and emotionally connected. |
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Such families have realistic expectations of their respective lives intertwining and always leave room for growth. With time, the family will grow closer and choose to spend more time together. |
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Written by Sinta Ebersohn (Creator of fairdivorce.co.za – Stellenbosch RSA)
