Divorce is one of the hardest situations a person may go through in their lifetime. For this reason we have to make sure that we take extra care of ourselves during this difficult and time-consuming period of our lives.
Even for the person not going through a divorce this might be a hard task to accomplish, but I assure you if you do each one of these things you will feel better and have more clarity when it comes to the decisions ahead of you.
Here are the four things that I recommend my clients do weekly for a better frame of mind and spirit.
Sweat the small stuff… out
Everybody knows that exercise is an important and vital part of maintaining a healthy life and well-being, but not many make the time necessary for it. Exercise during and after divorce is even more important and helps relieve the stress and tension that build up when going through the process of divorce or getting back into the dating pool.
Often, we carry our frustrations and disappointments with us not realizing that we may let it out on others that we come in contact with. For this reason, anyone going through a divorce should make the time to exercise and release these stressors.
I am an avid yogi and found that this was a great tool for me during my divorce and after. I know people who swear by kickboxing to let their stressors out on a bag. Some people I have talked to watch workout videos at home. Whatever it may be, promise yourself a time to sweat life’s stressors out.
It is ok to vent, but leave it to a certain time of the week and maybe just once a week if that’s possible. Save your venting for your therapist or that one really great friend that has already agreed to be there for you to vent with. When something is bothering you, write it down and bring it up during your once a week venting session. The purpose of venting only once a week to someone, is so you don’t find yourself obsessively talking about your ex or divorce.
Not only is constant venting bad for you — it concentrates too much time on the negative — it is also annoying for those who want to help. Limit it to once a week, write things down during the week and revisit them during your vent sesh. You will see that some of the things that made you furious earlier in the week aren’t that big of a deal later and it will free your mind for more positive thoughts of the future.
This might seem like it should be categorized under exercise but the exercise you get when heading outdoors is just an added bonus. I want you to go out and either take a stroll with the kids or the dog so that you get some fresh air and ENJOY your surroundings. Really look at the sky, birds, flowers and stop to enjoy them. Sometimes when it seems like your whole world is crashing down on you, you have to remember to stop and enjoy the little things. Life itself is beautiful, and during this time we need a reminder.
Make time for friends and family
Going through a divorce is a time when you need your friends and family most. Not only to lean on, but to remind you of the fun that can still be had. Spend time with them doing fun things. Leave the venting for that one day a week and the rest of the week enjoy your extra time and the company of good people. Remind yourself of who you were before your divorce and even before your marriage and be with people who bring out that person.
Make time for yourself and do what you can to make sure that you are prioritizing you, your mental health, and your physical health.
Written by Ian Oliver – Author of Getting Back on Top, Divorce Adviser (California – USA)