We’ve all heard the horror stories about couples who fight viciously with each other during their divorce and continue to wish nothing but ill-will and discontent on each other – it’s stomach-turning, especially when you’re in the middle of a divorce. But it’s important to remember that not everything you hear about divorced families is true. Before you believe everything you hear, here are 4 top myths about divorce.
You’ll Create a Broken Home
A broken home would imply that it was whole and well before you divorced – which simply isn’t the case when a couple decides to divorce. In fact, it is actually better for families to live in two separate homes with parents who love them enough to live apart. For those individuals who decide to comment on the “broken home” – remember that learning to love yourself enough to leave a relationship that isn’t working is often far better than the whole family continuing to suffer. You and your spouse can choose to be among those divorced couples who acknowledge that they actually get along better and co-parent their children better after they are divorced.
You obviously cannot commit to a relationship
Relationships deteriorate for a number of reasons, including simply drifting apart, inability to agree on family or finances, or for many other reasons. A decision to divorce is rarely made lightly, which indicates that most people do have a serious commitment to relationships with one another, rather than the opposite. If an individual is willing to leave a relationship to find something better suited to their needs (even if that means being alone), it demonstrates a commitment to finding happiness—not to a status.
No one will want a damaged divorcee
With approximately half of all marriages ending in divorce, simple math dictates that you will meet other single divorced people. In this day and age, this myth just makes no sense. While it may take work to move on with your life and even more work to integrate a blended family, it can be done and happiness can be found after divorce.
Your Children Will Hate You
When asked to decide whether to have both parents provide loving, nurturing homes or homes filled with conflict, most children would choose the quiet, peaceful home. A child will likely mourn the end of the home and atmosphere he or she has grown to know – even if that is a toxic environment—but will quickly adjust to the new, calmer environment over time.
Written by C. Catherine Jannarone (Lawyer – Matawan USA)