Are you feeling guilty for not being able to make a success of your marriage?
Do you resent yourself for the mistakes you made?
Do you wish you handled things differently?
Do you see the hurt in your child’s eyes and hate yourself for doing this to them?
Do you believe you failed your child for not providing a secure, loving home?
Are you disappointed in yourself for not being emotionally strong enough to cope with the divorce?
Are you ashamed of the way you have been fighting your ex-spouse through the divorce process?
Read Earn Forgiveness and Rebuild Trust after Betrayal
Beware of indulging in the destruction of self-blame, as it keeps our cortisol levels high and makes us sick. It does not serve you or anyone else in your life. Rather accept unconditionally that you did your best in every circumstance and own your mistakes.
“Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.”
– Elisha Goldstein (Author of Uncovering Happiness)
Forgive yourself! Put it behind you! Move on!
Developing compassion for yourself and finding your purpose in life, will give you resilience and confidence with far better results than anti-depressants.
The beauty of forgiveness is that it literally only takes one to tango. You can forgive one person – yourself – and the ability to gracefully forgive others will follow.
Read 10 Ways to Forgive Yourself and Let Go of the Past
Below is an extract from an inspiring poem, by Lawrence S Pertillar
Today I had to Forgive Myself
My life is meant to be lived.
Not to sit and forget to refresh my perceptions.
My life is meant to be lived.
And when I made up my mind,
I knew I would find…
A release of darkness that would diminish.
Once I allowed my guilt to deplenish,
I prepared to say goodbye to despair!
Knowing to leave that behind me to become fully aware…
My life is meant to be lived.
My life is meant to be lived.
My life…
Is meant to be lived.
Written by Sinta Ebersohn (Creator of fairdivorce.co.za – Stellenbosch RSA)