A fair divorce is where the needs of both parents are in balance like the scales of justice, while keeping the children’s needs in mind as the overriding factor.
Even if your spouse is angry and bitter, you can change this by not reacting in fear and anger yourself. You don’t have to be on the defensive or launch a counter-attack. You can remain neutral and set the tone. You can save your family’s money and dignity. You can protect the children by giving them a safe and secure space before, during and after the divorce.
Is this possible? Yes it is possible in the Litigation Process, but it is very difficult.
Rather choose the Collaborative Divorce Process where this is the cornerstone of the whole process. There is kindness, trust, voluntary submission of documents, and a focus on settlement and on providing safety and security for the children. There are good feelings all around as the parties plan and are in control of their own divorce and not being taken on a roller coaster ride of litigation.
Once you have decided to use the collaborative process, you must appoint an attorney who is trained to handle collaborative divorces. This can be done even in the middle of litigation. Don’t wait for your attorneys to step out of litigation, you can make the decision and then make it happen. The information is out there, empower yourself.
Written for fairdivorce.co.za by Renette Rauch (Collaborative Divorce Attorney – Cape Town)