90% of Divorces Settle Out of Court
It’s time for a NEW Strategy!
When people decide to get divorced, what is the first thing they do? They consult an attorney at a considerable fee who proceeds with issuing summons to the other party. This legal document accuses their spouse of some or other wrong-doing and literally threaten them to incur even more costs and defend themselves within a matter of days, or else…
Who would not be shocked, hurt, embarrassed or angry and ready to retaliate? Thus begins an acrimonious and self-righteous battle for possessions, absolution, victimhood and sadly, often children too.
The majority of divorces, up to 90%, eventually settle out of court, when they’ve either run out of financial or emotional means to keep up the legal fight.
So what do you really need an attorney for then? Both parties actually know far better than any lawyer or judge whom they’ve never met, what is in the best interest of themselves and their family and how they want to move forward. All they need to do, is agree on the most feasible and fair way to make that happen, formulate a settlement agreement & parenting plan (if they have children) and get it court-ordered. If they find it difficult to agree, they need the help of a mediator who is trained to facilitate amicable agreement, not two opposing attorneys who are trained to formulate arguments in order to defeat their opponents!
How do we avoid this pitfall? Single mother Sinta Ebersohn, developed 5 Steps to a Fair Divorce, based on the strategies she applied to end her grueling four year-long divorce war. She says: “Family matters such as divorce should not be a legal process, but rather a civilised uncoupling and logistic separation, managed by the parties themselves. Legal, financial, mental health and other expertise ought to be appointed in a collaborative process, with mediation at the core, but most certainly NOT appointed to take control of the entire divorce.”
The 5 Steps to a Fair Divorce, is a revolutionary mentoring method based on self-examination, empowering people to take radical action toward management of their unique situation and ultimate ownership of their divorce process.
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Written by Sinta Ebersohn (Creator of fairdivorce.co.za – Stellenbosch RSA)