Happy (Divorced) Mother’s Day

Mother DayOnce a year, we have the opportunity to honour our Mothers and show our appreciation for everything that they mean to us. It is also an opportunity to teach our children to consider the relationships they have with the women who gave birth to them and the roles that their mothers play in their lives.

Read Have a Happy Father’s Day

Being divorced, does not relieve you of the responsibility to teach your children the importance of special occasions. It also offers you the chance to show them how to receive love and appreciation with grace. You do not necessarily have to rely on your ex-spouse to initiate celebrations. Here are some valuable tips:

  1. Remember that you have a mother too: set an example for your children and involve them with the way you celebrate her, even if she is no longer with you.
  1. Furthermore, ask relatives or friends to assist your kids with the task of planning and purchasing for mother’s day.
  1. Inspire and support your children with a yearly celebration of their father, on father’s day. Whatever his beliefs are about these special occasions, he is bound to learn something from your effort.

    Read more about Why and How to Buy Your Ex a Gift.
  1. Ensure that your children are able to spend mother’s day with you and father’s day with their father – it’s simply the right thing to do – good karma and all that…
  1. Don’t wait until mother’s day and end up feeling isolated, alone and sorry for yourself if nothing magical happens. Remember to make plans well in advance that you and your kids can look forward to.
  1. Have a multi-generational mother’s day – make wonderful memories with great-grandma, grandma, mom and daughters (mother’s to be) all together in the same place.
  1. Regard the day as a celebration of all your achievements as a mother and realise how important you are to your children. Reflect on your experiences and share tales that they were too young to remember. Children love to hear those stories and enjoy relating them to others.
  1. Marital status has nothing to do with this special day. You deserve to be celebrated without feeling guilty and don’t need an ex-spouse to validate that.
  1. Get rid of your old expectations and create new rituals for your family to prepare and celebrate your motherhood. Don’t feel self-conscious about making a fuss over yourself, because you are teaching your children important life skills.
  1. If you cannot be with your children on mother’s day, focus on happy memories – look at their pictures or videos of when they were little, take out the gifts or cards they made for you or wear the scarf or jewellery they gave you. Alternatively, plan something fun you can do with them the next time you do see them. For example, make up a special day of your own when you can celebrate missed birthdays, mother’s day, Easter, Christmas etc.
  1. Honour yourself! Realise that you are an amazing gift to your children and compliment yourself on having come this far.
Read Father’s Day Tips for Divorced Moms

Have a glorious Mother’s Day!


Watch a thought-provoking video by Dr John Demartini on Motherhood

Dr John Demartini on Motherhood



Divorce Mentor: Find a healthy balance despite Divorce


Written by Sinta Ebersohn (Creator of Fairdivorce.co.za)

Thanks to Ali, Julie & Sam for their contributions.